i spy

with my little eye

the moon
through the spaces of my blinds

shut all the windows

so strange.

you used to come to me, frightened
we'd sit on the bed together and when we were really scared
we'd call him on the phone,
asking when he would come home.

both of us were weak and small, but i was just a bit bigger,
so it made me feel important and i suppose it made you
feel just a little more safe.

but then came that day, a few years later, when i accidentally broke
the light overhead, the glass shattered on the floor
and i found myself crying to you, frightened of what he would say
but you just laughed

and now, i'm calling you.
i'm calling you because i'm home alone, with no one to cook for
i'm calling you because when i'm in bed at night, i can no longer distinguish your thundering footsteps from his
i'm calling you because now, you're bigger than i am.
and even though we might have grown apart,
if you were here, i'd feel just a little more safe.

crooked

if you are there, please tell me.

i need to know that i am not the only one.









thank you.

for the eighth

this is the 8th year.
the year i turn 18.

i remember,
it was the 28th of april
and at 8:05 you disappeared.


please, let our heavens not be different
and i pray that i'll hear your voice again.
your arms around me again

i miss you.
i love you.